Never ask

a woman when she is due unless you are 100% positive that she actually is pregnant!

Walking down the beach on our vacation, we asked a friendly couple if they minded taking our picture. While my husband showed the man how to use our camera, I engaged in conversation with his wife. I noticed that she wasn't wearing a bathing suit and that her belly was slightly protruding. So I proceeded to ask her when she was due. To which she replied:

"I'm not! I just overindulged at lunch, thanks!"

I felt so bad that I couldn't even fake a smile for the picture.

Home Sweet Home

Don't misunderstand me....Antigua was amazing. 5 days of no cooking, no dishes, no laundry, no time-outs and absolutely no responsibility. We enjoyed doing the things we used to do on vacation before kids. We went scuba diving, rode ziplines through the rain forest, relaxed on the beach and even read a book. We took naps in the sun, drank in the middle of the day and had long conversation filled dinners. We arrived as two exhausted parents of toddlers and left as an energetic honeymooning couple.

Here are some of the highlights:




But I can't say we didn't think, talk or dream about our kids the entire time we were gone. The first day, there really was no mention of them. But soon we found them popping up in conversation and even wishing they could be experiencing some of the things with us. By the last day we had our next FAMILY vacation already planned. So although we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, we were anxious to get home. So when our flight was canceled, I was hysterical. I had thought I was going to see my kids and now I wasn't. They were expecting me home and I wasn't going to make it. It was the worst feeling to have absolutely no control over when I could get home to be with my kids.

Now that I'm home safe and sound with my children in my arms, I can see the results of my vacation. I'm soaking in every moment, enjoying the things that were previously boring and have all the patience in the world. The kids are elated to have my attention and now I can give them 110% of it.

Dorothy said it best: "There is no place like home."

Officially freaking out

Ok so the idea of going on vacation without my kids seemed like a fantastic idea in September when we booked it. But now that it's only 2 days away, I'm started to rethink my decision!!! I've only left me kids overnight once or twice and it was pretty much only while they were sleeping. So 5 days is starting to feel like an entirety.

But it's going to be GREAT! I can read my book on the plane and not have to entertain two kids. I can actually close my eyes on the beach and not worry whose making a break for the water. My husband and I are going scuba diving. We are going to sit at dinner and enjoy our meal, not rush out before someone has a meltdown. We are going to have uninterrupted adult conversation. We are simply going to relax!

Wow...I've almost convinced myself. No seriously, this is good for everybody involved. I need a break from the kids. They need a break from me. And John and I deserve some time as a couple not just parents. Dylan is super excited to have my parents come live at the house and hopefully Camryn will do fine. But there is that little crazy switch that I can't turn off inside of me telling me that no one can take care of my kids as good as I can.

But I have to push those thoughts aside. This is just what we all need! I'll come back refreshed, with more patience and more energy to be a better mom. They will have had a chance to miss me and maybe appreciate our time together. No matter how much I'll miss them, it will be well worth it!

I feel better already. Just needed a little pep talk. Well if nothing else I definitely won't miss the cold. Sunshine here I come!

To work or not to work

I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom from the minute I found out that I was pregnant. My short lived career in the fast paced advertising industry was easy to give up. Being home and raising my children was the most important thing and the right choice for me.

It provided me the opportunity to be a part of every little moment. The sweet ones, the funny ones and the frustrating ones. All of which I wouldn't have missed for the world. Ok...maybe I could have done without some of the frustrating ones. But I'm honestly glad I didn't miss a minute because my time is almost up. Next year Dylan will be in school full-time and Camryn will start pre-school.

So I've been having an internal struggle about what to do with my free time. I can't go back to advertising because the demanding nature of the job will not allow me the flexibility I need. Being a mom is still my #1 job and my family is my top priority. But I'm scared of losing myself if I put everything I have into taking care of everyone else. I'm not the kind of person who could stay home and keep house while the kids are at school all day. I'm scared that I would start to resent that if I didn't have anything for myself. After all, I'm a young, smart women with the drive to be successful.

So I did it! I took a real estate course and am about to get my license! It's a job that I think will lend me the flexibility I need to not have to sacrifice my time with my family. I'm excited! I'm excited to jump back into the real world, with adult interaction and a feeling of accomplishment. As my kids get bigger, I'm excited for them to see me as more than just their mom and have a respect for all that I do. I specially want to show Camryn that it is possible to have a family and a career and not have to sacrifice either one.

I'm excited for the next chapter. And with the 3 best cheerleaders behind me, there's no way I can fail!

MIA

Ok so I know I've been neglecting my blog...

The holidays were one thing. Preparing for them, enjoying them and then decompressing from them!

But the biggest reason I haven't posted is because I've dedicated every free moment to the kids rooms. And they are FINALLY in them!!!

Dylan couldn't be happier. He has so much space and his own bed again. But best of all we got to bring some toys up into his room and now he has another place to play. He even created a password for anyone who wants to enter!

For the most part his room is done. Fishing themed decorations have been ordered and will provide the finishing touches.

Camryn loves all the empty space in her new room. The lack of furniture (bed and dresser) provides ample space for dancing and running around. I think she was relieved not to sleep in her pack and play anymore but is still waking up at night wondering where she is. Her room will be a work in progress until she's ready for a big girl bed. But we finished the first set of stripes on her wall and it's starting to feel like her own space.



Having our bedroom back to ourselves was the best Christmas present ever!! We only get to enjoy a few weeks of it because it's next on our demolition list!

So hopefully I still have a few readers and I promise to be more diligent about posting!

Dylan to the Rescue

With all the construction going on in our house, there is stuff everywhere! We had to disassemble the kids beds so I have the pieces leaning up against my wall in the hallway. The clutter is definitely in my way but so far it's been manageable. That is, until yesterday!

I went in the attic to grab our Christmas decorations and because the attic is also my present hiding spot, I shut the door behind me so the kids didn't follow me in. Well Camryn follows me everywhere and she started to cry when she realized she couldn't get to me. I quickly grabbed the boxes and went to the door. But I couldn't open it. Something was in the way. I tried again harder and faster but the object wouldn't budge. I could hear Camryn crying and felt my heart start to race.

I called Dylan over and asked him what was blocking my way. When he told me it was the crib headboard, panic started to set in. I asked him if he thought he could push it back up against the wall. He told me it looked heavy but he would try. And sure enough my 4 year old rescued me from the attic!!!

I made a big deal about how strong he is and how he saved me from being locked in there. I explained how I would have been stuck in the attic and not able to get to him or Camryn. Well apparently he never found the need for alarm, he said:

"Mom, why didn't you just climb down the ladder that is out the window?"

I went out the front door and sure enough, he was right!!! There was a ladder leading right up to the window where I was trapped! Turns out my knight in shining armor was annoyed he had to rescue me when clearly I could have saved myself!

All aboard!!

The shiny black engine, puff of steam and loud whistle were enough excitement to make Dylan jump right out of his skin! We had been reading the book every night in anticipation of our ride on the Polar Express.

The trip promised a scenic train ride to the North Pole station, where Santa and Mrs. Clause would board the train. Sleepy servers would provide hot chocolate and cookies. And Santa had a special gift for every boy and girl on the train!!! It sounded like the perfect thing to get us into the holiday spirit.

Not to be the grinch and all, but holiday spirit was not what I was left with!

I was left explaining to Dylan why the train conductor was calling winterized boats icebergs. And why we could see cars driving along the highway on the way to the North Pole. Not to mention why there was no snow when we got there!

I was left with a distaste for anyone who willingly dresses up as Santa but clearly doesn't like interacting with kids. He seemed annoyed when asked to pause for a moment to take a picture and certainly was NOT his bright jolly old self!

I was left wondering if I was on the Polar Express or in an episode of Sesame Street. Our "helper" didn't sing very many Christmas carols but had a variety of puppets that had they own personalities and matching voices to go along with them. Somehow I missed the connection to Christmas...maybe he was hoping there was a talent scout on board.

I was left utterly annoyed at a mom of one of the kids in Dylan's class, who stuck her kids with me in my booth and sat and chatted with a friend in another. I've never formerly met her other than passing by at pick-up and drop-off so I thought the gesture was a little nervy. But it was actually a LOT nervy, because her kids were unruly and Dylan didn't even seem to be enjoying his classmates company. Not to mention I now have random kids in all my pictures!



I was left with an never-ending ringing in my head. All Santa was good for was to provide every little boy and girl aboard with a bell. And this was only the half way mark of the trip. So as you can guess, the bells never stopped ringing the entire way home!

Alright now that I got all my Scroogeness out, there were parts of the trip that I loved.

The kids excitement of being on the train was contagious.


The hot chocolate really tasted like melted chocolate bars just like the book described!


When asked what she wanted for Christmas, Camryn asked for pizza!!

Cookies can make any situation fun!



And just being able to give them my undivided attention for 2 hours was worth it. I think in the long run we really did enjoy ourselves!



But Dylan's really gonna have to lay on the guilt if he wants to go again next year!!