Letting Go

I woke up this morning, for the 1st time since he was born, without my son. At 6:30 every morning he comes to my side of the bed and either climbs in and snuggles or wakes me up with that adorable little voice of his. This morning I lie awake in bed with a pit in my stomach, knowing he's not coming into my room.

My sister-in-law and her husband have been bugging me all summer long to let him sleep over their house. He has NEVER slept away from home without me, I mean he is only 4. But he really was excited of the prospect of sleeping out, so with a heavy heart and much trepidation, I agreed.

He had the day planned from activities to meals and I knew he deserved 100% of someone's attention, which since the addition of Camryn I can't give to him very often. As I packed his overnight bag, the reality of it hit me hard. I wasn't going to be the one to read him books, sing him lullabyes or kiss him goodnight. I honestly did not want him to go.

I was indeed being selfish. There was no reason on my end that he should go. I didn't have plans that required a babysitter. I was going to be home being a mom, except half of my offspring was going to be missing. What would I do without Dylan to dictate the activities?

I was going to focus on Camryn and have some girl time. Give her 100% of my attention, which she never gets either. But I found myself struggling to interact on an 15 month old's level. She usually just plays with whatever Dylan and I are playing with. My attempt at girly activities like painting her toenails was a little premature. Baby toys weren't holding her interest or mine for that matter. Bathtime, which usually occupies 20-30 minutes, lasted 5 because she just kept standing up. With no one to play with, the tub was boring for her. Storytime proved to be a disaster. While I tried to read her books, she was pulling all the other books off the shelf. Dylan's absence was the elephant in the room. I sung her to sleep holding her tight, grateful that she was still too little for sleepovers.

As I await Dylan's return, I realize how hard it is to let go. They are little for such a short time. The breakaway is inevitable and when the time is right I'll embrace it. Hoping that along the way I've instilled all the right tools for them to soar. But in the words of Darius Rucker, "It won't be like this for long" and I intend to cherish every minute.

Welcome to my world

was all I could say to my husband as I listened to him struggle to get the kids out the door in the morning. The combination of me being a stay at home mom and John's crazy work hours doesn't leave John much time alone with the kids. So I have to admit that on the rare occasions that he does have them alone I secretly hope that things don't smoothly, just so he can get a taste of what I deal with on a daily basis.

I went to grab a cup of coffee with a friend and he was going to drop the kids to me on his way to work. When I called to let him know I was done, I ran down the list of things he needed to bring with him. I could hear the kids running a muck in the background while he frantically collected everything. He finally got them out to the car when he realized he left the diaper bag inside. One second is all it takes for my little munchkins to get into trouble and that's all it took. When I heard him swear, I knew he had come outside to an unexpected surprise.

Camryn had found a puddle to play in and was soaked from head to toe. Now he had to go back inside and get her dressed all over again. Trying to find an outfit that matches is not John's strong suit, paired with chasing around a toddler to try to wrestle clothes on her, I could hear the frustration starting to build. When he brought her back outside and she headed for the same puddle, he finally got the hang of it. He strapped both the kids in their carseats to keep them out of trouble while he finished gathering his things.

He barely stopped the car as he unloaded the kids and threw the diaper bag my way. He sped away already late to work and if he had looked in his rearview mirror, he would have seen me grinning from ear to ear.

Airing your dirty laundry!

Kids really will repeat whatever they hear. I learned this lesson the hard way. Last hunting season my husband bought himself a new gun, an expensive gun. Without any warning he walked into the house with it and Dylan's eyes lit up. Of course, he thinks anything his dad does is cool so he had a million questions.

I used to be a vegetarian, love animals and hate guns. By these three facts, I'm sure you can assume my opinion of hunting. But it's a hobby of John's that apparently I need to live with. However, I really wanted to shield Dylan from guns and such for as long as possible, for obvious reasons. The last thing I need is his pre-school teacher calling me up telling me he's using sticks on the playground to shoot things in the woods or worse, his classmates.

The whole situation caught me off guard and I start to yell at John. Asking how much the gun was, why he would spend that kind of money without consulting me, did he have to walk in with it slung over his shoulder like Rambo in front of his son and so on. Dylan was in the room with us but I never thought anything I was saying was really of any interest to him. Did he prove me wrong!

That night we went to my parents' house for dinner. While he was helping my mom cook I heard him say:
"Nana, daddy bought a new gun and mommy's REALLY mad at him."
My mother didn't even look over her shoulder at me but I could see her snickering while she tried to focus on cooking us dinner.

A little family time

Last weekend we snuck away to the Berksh ires fo r 2 days. We didn't go far or stay in a fancy hotel but we got a little family time. We took the kids swimming in the hotel pool, rode our bikes and spent a day at Jiminy Peak. Without any responsibilities from home, no laundry, dishes, yard work, even the computer to distract us, the kids got 100% of our attention the entire weekend. And we all had a blast! I came home rejeveniated and ready for another week of summer!

Please hold the door!

There is nothing more infuriating than people who don't hold the door. It's bad enough when it happens when I'm by myself but when I'm pushing my double stroller it's beyond rude. I mean, you can clearly see my struggle. I have to lean over the stroller to grab the handle, back up a bit to allow enough room for the door to open, hold the door with my hip and then navigator through the door. People often stand there amused at the process and do nothing. Others sneak in right before you because they don't want to be held up by the process. But my favorite is the people who side-step right past the process and use the door alongside of you, without even a glance backwards to see if you made it or not. Top that off with a nice downpour and it's about as fun as a shopping experience with 2 toddlers can get!

Chips and Dip

I was going to my mom's for a picnic on the Fourth of July and she had asked me to bring chips and dip. So I sent my husband to the grocery store to get chips and sour cream to make the dip. The chips were buy one, get one so he got a bag of regular and a bag of cheddar and sour cream. I made the dip as soon as he got back and put it in the refrigerator to set. About an hour later I come in to see him and my son scooping up all the dip and gobbling half the bag of chips. Now this is all my mom would let me bring so I can't go there with a half bag of chips and a tablespoon of dip. I grab the food away from them and of course my son starts to cry.

Dad to the rescue....he snatches the other bag of chips and tears into it. When Dylan sees these orange chips he says: "Oh Mom, we don't need the dip anymore, because these chips already have the dip on them! See the orange, that's the dip!"

Of course, he got the usual laugh from mom and dad and continued to eat his "special" chips. Now that was almost 2 weeks ago but he is still talking about these things. He'll randomly bring it up in conversation with people. Today at a restaurant, he leaned over and bragged to the table next to us: "At home, we have chips that already have the dip on them!" I wonder what he would do if he knew there is an assortment of flavors too!!!

Daddy the SuperHero

So I'm fully aware that I'm under appreciated. Let's face it my kids are too young to comprehend exactly what it is I do for them. So I'll spell it out:

Feed them
Clean them
Dress them
Play with them
Comfort them
Teach them
Keep them happy
Keep them safe
Keep them healthy
Make them laugh
Play with them some more
Feed them some more
Undress them
Clean them again
Read to them
Sing to them
Put them to sleep
Repeat....

Not to mention all the things in between. And of course the household chores. But my husband catches a stinking shark and my son thinks he is a SUPERHERO!